right but pizza boy james coming to your house and sees you’re babysitting and the kid is crying so he says “hey little man, how are ya tonight?” and then makes funny faces at the kid until the crying stops and he just winks at you and asks for a kiss as a tip
make your child stop screaming or I will
(Source: fingerblaster113, via forgave)
what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear
Mum’s cat sleeps in the oddest of places
*does 360 on heelies* wanna date me?
(Source: real-ass-talk, via therollingclones)